DEDICATED TO THE STUDY OF

"HEINOUS AT FIRST ONLY TO GET WORSE LATER BUSINESS DECISION-MAKING SYNDROME"
(HAFOTGWLBD-MS)

BOBI HQ

The BOBI experiments are conducted inside a massive airplane hangar that was decommissioned from the military complex. We carefully chose it as our HQ.

You see, we believe it’s the perfect environment for the ERP research subjects to act "natural" for several reasons:

It's WAY too big for our intended purpose (we use only a tiny corner of the building)

Even though we use a small area of the structure we have to pay for the entire hangar

Being part of the military, it would take years to alter the structure to meet our actual needs

The lease is wildly overpriced and will likely bankrupt us in 3 years

The lease has no end date

We LOVE it here!

Meet the professionals

Dr Robert Von Schnecktle

This former ERP Research Director has broken free from the ERP tractor beam to lead the BOBI on its noble mission.

We feel fortunate to have an “ERP insider” leading our team. He was on the actual ERP subcommittee that ideated the “Freeze the Market™” maneuver. He penned the abstract on how to double a budget and a development schedule and have the clients apologize to you!

The product of a Swiss Prep school and a Prussian university, Dr Schnecktle has an extremely regimented work style and reveres order, promptness and lengthy processes (he insists on using a long ‘o’ in processes). “I like to swim against the tide, to fly in the face of stereotypes.”

An inveterate balloonist, Dr Schnecktle knows the value of heated air. And the BOBI hopes that his passion for blowing hot air, bloated modes of transportation, and timetables on an Egyptian scale will help us unlock the secret to ERP success.

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR OF RESEARCH

Dr Bruce Brice Brewster

“Dr Bru” for short, Dr Brewster has created addiction programs with a twist: he gets the addicts addicted to something less harmful than their current addiction. This, his dossier categorically states, “takes their mind off it.” At the BOBI, he is testing a controversial treatment whereby the ERP addicts are subjected to severe beatings with a pointed stick. “It won’t arrest their ERP compulsion,” Bru explains “but when they feel total despair after being chewed up in the ERP combine, they’ll feel better knowing there’s something that DOES hurt worse.”

Renowned as a workaholic, Dr Bru writes, “I’m a hard worker, etc.”

OPERATIONS MANAGER

Sally Frockmeister

This former shepherd has been herding sheep in Montana for 20 years. Ms Frockmeister is well prepared for her task to manage the steady, bleating flow of executives who participate in the BOBI studies. Sally refutes the rumor that sheep run toward danger. She says because they have no defense against predators, their tactic is to band together in great numbers and run at the predator. “OK, maybe they DO run towards danger,” she admits. We think her deductive reasoning skills and flexibility are ideal for the BOBI.

She enjoys cooking lemming soup, Chinese and Italians.